Oracle Files: Brainiac
Characters * Superman * Wonder Woman * Batman * Brainiac * Lex Luthor Location * Metropolis, DE * March 3rd 2016, 1957 EST VOX Archive * Brainiac: One believes you humans have a term for moments such as these. Poetic justice? Dedicating years of your life to finding a way to rid your world of Superman and the very instrument which will enable you to perform such a feat will now be your own undoing. Or is that irony? One was never exactly clear on the distinct- * Lex Luthor: grunt I didn't come here to listen to you wax philosophic, Brainiac... Can you fix it? * Brainiac: Normally, Kryptonite's radiation is usually not harmful to your human physiology. One has never seen such effects caused by an unstimulated sample. Most interesting... * Lex Luthor: Can... you... fix...it? * Brainiac: Patience Mister Luthor... scanners beeping and buzzing One cannot rush science. One will need to do a biopsy for further analysis. * Lex Luthor: coughing How much are we talking abo- Yee-ow! Well, yeah, go ahead... A little sedative next time wouldn't hurt. * Brainiac: One has detected the Justice League's presence. We did not have time to consider your comfort to be relevant. * Lex Luthor: Oh, well... I guess we should get in character, huh? breath, exhale Okay, once or twice across the face. Make it look good but don't break my jaw or anything. * Brainiac: whack One believes that should be sufficient for our needs, Luthor. * Lex Luthor: You think? expletive, I can't see out of my left eye! * Brainiac: One assures you the blindness is temporary, Luthor... Now, cue Superman in three... two.. * Superman: rubble falling, sigh I can't believe I'm doing this... Brainiac, release Lex this instant. * Brainiac: Kal-El... I see you have arrived in your traditionally brutish manner. One must wonder if you have a distaste for using doors. * Superman: Release Luthor right now or I'll show you what brutish really means... cape rustling, grunt * Brainiac: As intimidating as your threat sounds, one cannot help but feel underwhelmed seeing as you are literally powerless to enact such violence while I hold this in my hand. * Lex Luthor: throat Look out, Superman! He has Kryptonite! * Superman: thud, cough Thanks for the warning, Lex... * Brainiac: Despite your distaste for one another, one knew that the All-American "Man of Steel" would be unable to let a presidential candidate kidnapping go unanswered. * Superman: Good thing I brought back-up then... * Brainiac: Oh, I know... Wonder Woman and Batman. The so-called "Trinity" of the Justice League. And while one would linger to trade blows, one has more urgent matters. Farewell. * Tube opening, Boom Tube closing, rushed footsteps, groans * Wonder Woman: What's more urgent than killing you? I thought that's all Brainiac lived for... What's he up to? * Batman: Whatever it is, it can't be good... * Lex Luthor: So...Which one of you three fine Americans would like the honor of rescuing the next President of the United States? footsteps Guys? Hold on now! Hello?! Trivia * Lex eventually wins the election and is the current president of the United States. * The story hints at Lex having cancer due to being exposed for so long to Kryptonite. * The secret origin of Brainiac's name: ** Batman: Who is this guy? He mentioned Krypton. Is he with you? ** Superman: He is a hyper-intelligent computer from Krypton. The reason for its destruction actually. ** Robin: Cool! Can I give him a name? ** Batgirl: No, you cannot. ** Supergirl: Yeah, because it already has one. ** Robin: Oh? ** Supergirl: My parents, uh, sort of created it. They named it Vril-Dox. It means Know-It-All in Kryptonian. ** Robin: I don't want to call him that... Know-It-All ain't catchy. ** Supergirl: Does a maniacal computer need a catchy name on this planet? ** Robin: Oh, I know... the Brain! ** Batgirl: Uh, taken... ** Robin: Shucks... Oh! Brainiac! Y'know, like maniac mixed with brain. ** Batgirl: (scoff) That'll never catch on, twerp. Links and References * Oracle Files: Brainiac Category:Oracle Files Category:Diana/Appearances Category:Bruce Wayne/Appearances Category:Brainiac/Appearances Category:Lex Luthor/Appearances Category:Clark Kent/Appearances Category:Justice League/Appearances Category:Metropolis/Appearances